It Will Always Be Him
by Lizzie Schmidt
Summary: What will happen when Anastasia runs into her old flame? Will their passion be rekindled? I'm not good at summaries... Rated M for a reason. Closely based on "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" by Panic! At The Disco


It's well into the night, and I'm sitting at the drink bar at a club in Los Angeles, California. I've been here for a few hours with a couple of close friends. I had danced with them for a little while so they wouldn't suspect what was going through my mind. Now I'm sitting here, looking at the handsome, sweaty, and smiling people in their twenties. People-watching. It's the same concept as bird-watching, except instead of observing birds, you watch people.

Let me give you some background on myself: My name is Anastasia, I'm barely twenty-one, 5'7 in height, very nicely built (as my past boyfriends have told me many times), my curly black hair goes halfway down my back, my skin is porcelain pale, and I've got piercing blue eyes. I moved to L.A. from my hometown of Hell, Michigan. Charming name, right? Well, it lived up to its name while I was there. I hated that place with a passion. I took a one-way plane to California the second I graduated high school to go to college and pursue my dream of becoming an actress.

Once I made it to Los Angeles, I auditioned for a role on the Nickelodeon TV show Big Time Rush. Sometime later, I got a call from my manager saying I had gotten the job. Don't get me wrong, I had loved the idea of being on TV, but I had never even heard of the series. It was a permanent role, so that meant I had better like my co-stars.

When I went to set that first day, I laid eyes on a tall, leanly muscular man. He had dark brown hair and beautiful hazel eyes. He had been wearing tight black skinny jeans, a wife-beater, and a black leather jacket. Everything about his appearance screamed danger. Then there was the way he had looked at me. He made me feel as if he was looking straight through my clothing and seeing my naked body underneath.

I loved it; I loved every single second of it. I had never been attracted to the bad boy type before, but he was different. He was sexy, and I could tell he knew it. He walked with a swagger that said nobody could mess with him and get away with it. I had approached the dangerous stranger, who was leaning against the wall, confidently, letting him know I wasn't going to let him seduce me like I was sure he had done to many girls.

"I take it you're Anastasia," he said.

"Correct."

"I'm James Diamond, one of your new co-stars."

"That's cool," I had said, acting as if I didn't particularly care. Inside, I was jumping for joy, loving the idea of seeing him everyday.

"You're hot," he had said cockily, looking my body up and down with hungry eyes.

"I know," I said, filling my voice with an equal amount of cockiness.

He smirked. "Date me."

"What?" I asked, a little stunned.

"Date. Me," he repeated, over-enunciating each syllable.

"Alright," I replied, crossing my slim arms over my chest.

"Okay," James had confirmed, a smile faintly visible on his full lips.

I dated James Diamond for a few years, up until about a month before my twentieth birthday, actually. Things happened, people were emotionally hurt, stress took over, and our relationship had crumbled. Our so-called relationship had mainly been about sex. I had loved him, and he had loved me, but it was always about the sex. The mind-blowing, stunning, amazing, rough, perfect, passionate sex. For those hours, late at night, when we were locked in his bedroom together, there was no world beyond that door.

There had been times when James would come home from the recording studio, mad at the universe, not wanting anything to do with the horrid thing we refer to as mankind. He would yell and scream, not at me, of course. James never got angry with me, not in the two years we were together; he never once raised his voice at me. On those nights when he hated everything, I was the one who made the pain and anger go away. He sometimes got rough in bed on those nights, which could be painful, but that always reminded me of the day we met, and I loved it.

James was not the reason we broke up, don't think that for a second. It was all my fault. I had been feeling extremely stressed, and my friends had decided to take me on a girls' night out, much like the one we are having tonight. They had thought James and I had been spending too much time together and we both needed to have a good time without the other.

I had gotten completely wasted that night. Thinking back now, there are some details that I can't even recall, like what I had been wearing or where I lost my phone. I had met a guy in that smoky bar on that night, an extremely handsome, broad-shouldered man with an Australian accent. The man had seduced me and we ended up making love in his Dodge Charger.

Somehow, James found out about this little incident by the next day. He had been upset, yes, but not angry. I don't see how he wasn't mad, I would have been furious if he had cheated on me like that. We went our separate ways; I moved in with my best friend, Kassi, and he kept his apartment.

This brings us back to tonight, with me sitting in this club. I glance to the other side of the room and see none other than James Diamond walking in. He's wearing white skinny jeans, sagging a bit in the back, and a black V-neck shirt with a dark blue jacket over it; he looks amazing. There's a group of guys around him; I don't recognize any of them, but they seem to be actors or singers by the way they all seem to act like they own the place.

James apparently sees me because he starts walking toward me purposefully. "Anastasia," he says once he reaches me.

"James."

"How are you?"

"Alright. And you?"

"Pretty good. Dance with me?" James asks, holding out a hand. After a moment of hesitation, I let him take my hand. I relish the familiar feeling of his soft, warm hand in mine. We walk onto the crowded dance floor and immediately James pulls me close to him. I breathe in his all too familiar scent of cologne and aftershave. I've missed him; I've missed this, just being close to him.

_Is it still me that makes you sweat?_

_Am I who you think about in bed?_

_When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?_

_Then think of what you did and how I hope to God he was worth it._

"So was he worth it?" James asks as we dance.

"What do you mean?" I'm confused.

"Was your one night stand worth losing me?"

_I got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck than any boy you'll ever meet,_

_Sweetie, you had me._

_Girl I was it, look past the sweat, _

_A better love deserving of exchanging body heat in the passenger seat? _

_No, no, no, you know it will always be me._

"You've got no answer?" James asks; I can practically hear the smirk in his voice. The truth is, it wasn't worth it. He's the best, no questions. I'll never find another man as perfect as James.

"No," I finally say.

"That's what I thought."

_Let's get these teen hearts beating._

_Faster, faster._

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,_

_Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?_

James pulls me even closer as we dance to the fast song that's blaring over the speakers. It's been months since he and I had been this close, this intimate.

"Let's get outta here," James whispers. He pulls me off the dance floor and out the front doors of the club. We get into his car and he turns the key, starting the car. Leaning over, I grab the front of his shirt and pull him in for a long, passionate kiss. It's filled with desire and fire and everything our perfect kisses are always filled with. Pulling away, he locks eyes with me for a second before pulling out of the parking lot.

James' apartment complex is fifteen minutes away, which I believe is too long. Every few seconds I see James glance over at me. He wants me, maybe more than he ever has. I remember how much he used to hate for me to tease him and how much I loved to be a tease.

Smiling to myself, I slide down in the seat to where I'm lying on my back. James looks over at me. I slowly slide my shirt up, exposing my flat stomach and the bottom of my bra. This is how I had always wanted to tease him, but had never gotten the chance to. It's gonna drive him crazy.

I unbutton my short skirt and pull it down to my knees. James keeps glancing over at me; he's shaking a little and I see sweat on his temple. I put my hand between my thighs and pull my panties to the side, exposing my entrance. Out of the corner of my eye, I see James lick his lips. I start fingering myself, going in and out slowly.

The pleasure becomes a little too much for me to be silent, and a small moan escapes my lips. I let my eyes close and start going deeper and faster. My moan becomes louder.

"W-what are you thinking about?" James asks.

"You. Inside of me, thrusting hard, sucking my neck, going slow and deep."

James groans a little. The teasing is working, he wants me even more. The bulge at the front of his crotch is growing quickly. I'm beginning to reach my climax when James reaches over and takes hold of my wrist, slowly pulling my fingers out.

"Wait. Let me help you with that part," he whispers seductively. I nod. He brings my hand to his lips, taking my soaked fingers into his mouth and licking the wetness off. Fascinated by the look on his pretty face, I stare as he kisses my palm. I slide over next to him, leaving my skirt on the floorboard. Kissing his neck, I unzip his jeans. He smiles a little when I slide my hand into his boxers, pulling his cock out. He groans when I blow air gently on the tip. Taking his left ball into my mouth, I suck slowly, loving the little moans he's allowing to escape his lips.

I work my way to the other one, sucking a little harder. I look up at him, and he is watching the road, trying to concentrate on not swerving out of the road. I take his length into my mouth, swirling my tongue around him. He lets his left hand leave the steering wheel and cups the back of my head, forcing himself deeper into my mouth. I'd never deep-throated before, so this was new to me. I rolled with the flow. Placing my hand on the base of his dick, I let my tongue travel up and down his length. When he's about to cum, I pull away. I readjust his boxers and jeans, zipping them back.

When we finally reach his house, he gets out of the car, walking slowly around the front, and lifts me out of the car. I wrap my legs around his core as he carries me up the stairs and to his apartment door. My skirt was left abandoned on the floorboard of James' sports car. Once we get to his apartment door, we're both already breathing heavily. He shifts my weight to one arm, letting me lean against the wall while he unlocks the door.

After what feels like years, he opens to door and carries me straight to his room. He puts me on the bed and stands above me. He smirks, looking down at the front of his shirt, which had a large damp spot on the front.

"Someone's wet tonight," James says. I grin a little. He pulls the shirt over his head and gets on top of me. Trailing my fingers from his chest to the bottom of his abdomen, I unbutton his jeans. Not long after, all of our clothes are strewn across the room.

James gets on top of me and kisses me hard on the lips. He slowly spreads my legs with one of his while kissing me heatedly. Pulling away slightly, James makes intense eye contact with me. I feel the tip of his cock teasing my entrance. Slowly, he takes each of my wrists in one of his hands and pins them above my head. James has always liked being dominant, it makes him feel powerful.

I bite my lip as he slides his hard shaft into me. "J-James," I say in a moan as he begins going in and out of me slowly. After enjoying the moment of teasing me this way, he begins rocking his hips a little harder. He lets go of my hands, putting his on either side of my head to hold himself up so he doesn't crush me with his much larger figure.

I intertwine my fingers in his thick hair, pulling him to me for a rough kiss. He grabs my waist and, in one fluid motion, flips me over to where I am straddling him. Holding me above him for a second, he enjoys the feeling of my walls closing and throbbing around his shaft. I moan, letting him know I want more. He smirks and begins thrusting upwards. I feel myself nearing climax and groan while rocking back and forth with him inside of me.

James' stomach tenses and he bites my lower lip. "Ana!" he exclaims, moaning in pure ecstasy. His breathing gets shallow and ragged; he releases, pulling out of me. "James," I say in a voice that tells him I want him right now more then ever. He knows full well that I'm still not done. Wiping the sweat from his glistening forehead, he smirks, yet again.

Reaching over me, he opens the drawer on his nightstand and pulls out a pair of handcuffs. "Kinky," I tell him, giggling a little.

"You know you like it," James says playfully, winking at me. He's completely right, I love it.

"Get up and come here," James commands. I do as I'm told. He takes my left hand and spins me around. I feel him put the handcuffs on me. The handcuffs have always been one of James' favorite sex toys. Well, unless you count me as a toy. It gives him infinite power over me. I back up against him, grinding into him. He chuckles into my hair, kissing my neck lightly.

"Now, you're gonna do as I say, aren't you?" he whispers huskily into my ear. Unable to find my voice, I only nod. James walks slowly around me, running his fingertip along my side as he goes, making me shiver. Facing me, he traces my jawline with his calloused thumb.

"I've missed you, beautiful," he says in a low voice. I search his eyes, seeing the pain that he's trying his hardest to hide.

"I've missed you too," I reply in an equally soft voice. He leans down, kissing my lips gently.

"Stay put," James instructs, going near the door to pick up his boxers and slide them back on. I tilt my head to the side, wondering what he's about to make me do. He walks over to the bed and sits down.

"I'm kinda hungry," James says. I chuckle at how random that is.

"Then eat something."

"I'm about to." His eyes go from my eyes down to my crotch. I realize what he meant and blush a little.

"Come here," he tells me.

I slowly walk over to him. He takes my hand and pulls me down on top of him. I put one leg on either side of him. His eyes meet mine.

"Closer. I won't bite. Well . . . Not unless you want me to." He winks at me, the corners of his mouth tilting up slightly.

I slowly and nervously scoot forward about six inches to where I'm sitting on that little spot where his ribs meet his stomach. James gives me a look and I keep going forward until my knees are on either side of his head. I hover nervously above him.

"Babe, just sit. You won't hurt me."

I slowly lower myself. His nose and lips make contact with my exposed cunt. I shiver slightly at how cool his skin feels. His warm tongue slowly slides upwards until he hits my G-spot and I moan loudly. He slides his tongue in and out quickly, hitting it every time. His large hands move from their places at his sides up to where he is grasping me waist so I won't fall over. I moan again, louder. After a couple more minutes, I finally cum.

"Wow." James smiles at me as I lie down on the bed.

"So, does this mean we're back together?" I ask sleepily.

"I don't know . . . You tell me."

I look into his deep hazel eyes. "I love you," I murmur before I fall asleep.


End file.
